Being a parent isn’t for the faint of heart. As we moms and dads know, there’s no shortage of decisions to make on our end. Day in and day out, we’re always thinking about our children and calling the shots on anything and everything regarding their upbringing and well-being. Unfortunately, this also means we’re prone to endless, unsolicited opinions from anyone and everyone. As annoying as it can be to hear opinions we didn’t ask for in regard to our parenting, we can’t necessarily prevent people from voicing them. We can, however, rest in this truth: those opinions don’t matter. Here’s why.
Outsiders’ Opinions Shouldn’t Matter When It Comes to Your Parenting
When I became a mom for the first time, I quickly realized how opinionated everyone and their brother (or, let’s be honest, everyone and their mother) was. From the moment I announced that I was expecting, it seemed as though I couldn’t go a single day without someone interfering with their take on pregnancy, labor and delivery, or any other baby-related topic. I now know that outsiders’ opinions simply aren’t worth stressing about when it comes to my parenting. Why, you ask?
They’re Just That . . . Opinions
There’s no how-to for raising children. Sure, there are resources and supports out there to guide us along the journey of doing life with tiny humans in tow. There are social media accounts aplenty to give us something to strive for (or sometimes, against). And for many of us, there are neighbors, family members, friends, and colleagues at the ready to chime in on our parenting decisions. At the end of the day, though, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach for any aspect of childrearing. Opinions are personal and sometimes valid, but they aren’t factual . . . or mandatory.
They’re Not Necessarily Relevant
As much as I believe people generally mean well when voicing their opinions on all things parenting-related, I also have to remind myself that their opinions might not be relevant to my motherhood. For starters, many of us today — myself included — likely parent very differently than prior generations. Things have changed in terms of what’s considered acceptable, appropriate, and even safe within the realm of raising humans. The world has changed. We can’t expect what worked for Great Aunt Sally over 75 years ago to work for our families today, nor should we believe that the opinions of any other individual (on anything parenting-related) are a measure of our success as moms and dads.
People’s Opinions Won’t Change What’s Actually Best for Your Child
At some point or another, we’ve all had to listen to a spiel on what worked for someone else’s child. A classic? How a fellow parent managed to get their months-old baby sleeping through the night. I, personally, have yet to experience an eight- to 12-hour stretch of uninterrupted sleep. Am I tired? Absolutely. Have I ever asked for anyone’s opinion on my family’s sleep habits? Nope. Frankly, I don’t want or need to hear them. We’re doing what works for us, and that’s all that matters. I know what’s best for my babies, and I’m sure you know what’s best for yours. People can think they know best all they want, but their take on your unique situation won’t ever trump your authority as your child’s parent.
Your Parenthood Isn’t Anyone Else’s To Dictate
This is a given, but may it serve as a healthy reminder: your parenthood is yours and nobody else’s. It’s yours to mold, yours to experience, and yours to cherish. This is a beautiful gift, but awareness and confidence in your role are necessary in order to successfully tune out unwelcome opinions. Having children can lead others to believe they have more stake in your decision-making than they actually do. As I’ve found out firsthand, people love trying to sway new moms on everything imaginable. Baby names, boundaries, family traditions, chosen methods of feeding — and everything in between. Regardless, this is your journey. Your parenthood isn’t anyone else’s to control, manipulate, or influence unprompted. Their opinions simply don’t matter.
Everyone Will Have Opinions on Your Parenting . . . But They Don’t Have To Matter
Like with anything else in life, people will have opinions on how you choose to parent. And you can’t always stop others from inserting themselves in situations that aren’t theirs to speak on. But you can find assurance in knowing you can choose to take what others have to say with a grain of salt. You’ll never impress everyone, but there’s no reason to try to. Your motherhood (or fatherhood) is yours alone . . . and the only opinions that matter when it comes to your journey with your tiny humans are your own.