With the influence that technology has on our everyday lives in this day and age, I can’t possibly be the only one who finds it difficult to detach from my phone as much as I’d like to. As a stay-at-home mom of a toddler and a preschooler (in other words, someone who constantly has a million and two tabs open in my mind), I’m not always proud of the screen time I log on my iPhone. The truth I need to make loud and clear, though? I’m not just scrolling social media.
Whether you’re a stranger who has passed by me in public and cast judgment as I’ve scrolled on my phone with my kids at my hip or you’re a familiar face taking note of every single time I’m seemingly distracted, hear me out. Yes, I’m constantly on my phone. But it’s not what you think. Here’s what I’m actually doing.
As Moms, Our To-Do Lists Never End
There’s something to be said about the mental load we moms tend to carry for our families. In fact, I truly believe we could (and probably should) have a whole conversation on this topic. As the matriarchs of our clans, our to-do lists never end. We’re constantly thinking, planning, organizing, arranging, researching . . . in short, we’re doing it all. All day, every day. And our cell phones just happen to be an excellent tool for managing the daily mental load of motherhood. So what am I doing when it seems like I’m constantly scrolling on mine, you ask?
I’m Researching All the Things
Somebody has to make informed decisions for my children, and it isn’t going to be my children themselves. At least not when they’re little and completely dependent on me to raise them to be healthy, educated, happy humans. Thus, I’m constantly researching everything kid-related. I’m looking up the best shoe brands for early walkers, the most natural, dye-free pain medicine for teething toddlers, and the most sought-after preschool programs for my eldest daughter. I’m comparing gymnastics studios and soccer programs, pediatric GI doctors and dentists, and top family-friendly vacation destinations. Heck, I’m even researching the least stimulating TV shows. Since we’re admitting to being victims of screen time anyway, yes . . . my kids get it daily, too.
I’m Scheduling Everyone’s Appointments, Classes, and Activities (But My Own, Ironically)
No matter how easily I might fall behind on keeping up with my own scheduling needs, there’s no room for getting behind on such things when it comes to raising babies. I’m constantly using my phone to schedule, reschedule, and confirm appointments for my children. Between well-checks and routine exams, annual blood work, specialist visits, and everything in between, keeping up with my kiddos’ medical appointments requires a lot of attention to detail. In this case, it requires attention to my phone — nearly all their health portals, appointment reminders, and results are accessible via mobile app. The same holds true for scheduling ballet lessons and mommy-and-me music sessions. It’s all online; therefore, it all happens on my phone.
I’m Setting up Playdates and Opportunities for Socialization
As a stay-at-home mom, I feel tremendous pressure to ensure my son and daughter have plenty of opportunities to socialize with other little ones. Playdates are a huge part of accomplishing this. But they don’t just happen without a fair amount of planning and coordination. I’m constantly texting back and forth with mom friends, arranging playground meetups and backyard get-togethers, signing up for weekly storytime(s) at our local library, and RSVPing to birthday parties (not to mention planning birthday parties). If I don’t make it a point to socialize myself, I know my kids won’t be able to do so, either. Isn’t that what phones were meant for?!
I’m Making Shopping Lists (And Submitting Target Pickup Orders)
Groceries (and clothes and art supplies and countless other items) tend to disappear with kids. I’ll never understand how my family goes through as many boxes of applesauce pouches as we do in a single week. But I do know it won’t be a good week if we forget to stock up. This is one of the many reasons why writing endless shopping lists has seemingly become a pastime of mine. As much as I’ll probably always prefer good old pen-and-paper, using my phone’s Notes feature is far more convenient most of the time. So, yes, I’m scrolling . . . but it’s all in the name of providing for happy, fed, tiny humans.
I’m Keeping Extended Family Updated on My Kids’ Lives
My kiddos are lucky to have a lot of love in their lives. That said, we’re unfortunate in the sense that much of that love comes from a distance. We may not get to see their out-of-town grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts, cousins, and friends as often as we’d like. However, I can keep loved ones in the loop via social media. Lengthy phone calls with the people who care about my children the most simply aren’t in our cards these days. You bet I’ll take advantage of group chats and quick and easy photo sharing!
I’m Just Trying To Survive
Regardless of what I’m doing on my phone at any given point throughout the day, this much is constant: I’m simply trying to survive. I’m checking off to-dos for my children and family, only to come up with a dozen more. And then? I’ll be the first to admit that I’m also occasionally squeezing in some mindless scrolling. I’m a mom, not superhuman. Sometimes, I need a break from the endless expectations of the day-to-day, too.
I have no idea what my daily phone use time is, but I do know this: I’m not just mindlessly soaking in social media, and I’m certainly not sitting around being lazy. Rather, as a mom, I’m constantly working through the many tasks I have on my plate to complete for everyone else around me. So, the next time you see me — or any other mama — glued to that trusty smartphone, I encourage you to rethink whatever it is you might be thinking. Because I promise you this: we’re doing far more than scrolling.