I’m a firm believer that motherhood has the ability to change us at our core. As a mom of two young children, I’m well aware that I’ve only scraped the surface of my own evolution along the journey. Even still, I can’t help but look back in awe at how much I’ve already grown and changed as a mother over the past couple of years.
There’s no doubt about it: I’m a different mom now than I was not that long ago. That is, before I gave birth to my second child. Here’s how I’ve grown since going from a mama of one to a mama of two.
Motherhood Looks Different Now Than It Did Before I Had Two Kids
I had my first child, my precious daughter, three and a half years ago. A quick 18 months later, she became a big sister. As for me? It almost feels as if I was reborn as a mother. Here are some of the ways I’ve evolved in my motherhood since my transition from one to two children:
I Trust Myself (And My Intuition) When It Comes to Parenting
After I gave birth to my first child, I found myself second-guessing everything. I constantly questioned whether or not I was making the right parenting choices for her, myself, and my family. Who was I to suddenly have the authority to be completely responsible for another human being? As it turns out, I’m fully equipped to make any and all decisions regarding my own children. More so than anyone else in the world ever could be, by the way. This time around, I trust my intuition when it comes to the decisions I make for and regarding my babies. There’s no guidebook for parenting, but I know I can rely on my inner voice to lead me in the right direction. After all, it hasn’t failed me yet.
I Don’t Let People’s Opinions Sway Me Like I Used To
Back in the early stages of my first-time mom days, I quickly discovered just how many people thought they knew my child — and what was best for her — better than I did. From in-laws to doctors to many random titles in between, everyone had an opinion on one thing or another. My parenting style, my preferred method of feeding, our nightly sleep routine, my decision to stay home with my kiddos . . . you name it. As it turns out, nobody’s opinion but my own has ever mattered on any of that. At this point, I’m confident in my mothering, and I won’t let the unsolicited opinions of others influence how I choose to raise my children.
I’m More Focused on Slowing Down and Being Present in the Moment
If the past three and a half years have taught me anything, it’s that life with children goes by incredibly fast. They’re tiny only for a short moment — and then, suddenly, they’re not. This time around, I’m trying harder to focus on the things that matter the most.
Mastering a perfectly pristine sleep schedule? Nope. Not interested. Spending my days tracking naps and month-to-month milestones? Not what I’m concerned about. All I want to do is savor every ounce of the magic that is life with my little ones before they’re a single inch bigger. Their sheer joy after I’ve said “yes” to one more popsicle on a hot summer day? Count me in. 10 more minutes of snuggling and storytelling when we’re already an hour past bedtime? I have no desire to say “no.” I desperately want to slow down and soak it all in — because I know none of it lasts forever.
I’m Giving Myself More Grace for the Bumps Along the Way
As rewarding as it is, being a mom isn’t easy. When I was in the trenches the first time around, I spent way too much time feeling guilty about things I shouldn’t have stressed over. For too much screen time (or even using screen time to begin with), for not being present enough every waking second, for needing an occasional moment of quiet to self-regulate, the list goes on.
Now, as a mother of two, I’ve come around to the fact that I can only do so much to be the best mom I can be . . . and that’s enough. And you know what? It’s refreshing to finally understand that I’m allowed to be human. Even more, I’m teaching my children that they can be human, too. Motherhood is a wild ride — naturally, there will be bumps along the way. This time, I’m giving myself a bit more grace for all of them.
I’m Not the Same Mom I Once Was . . . And That’s Okay
Motherhood is a dynamic journey that can change us if we let it. For better or worse (though I’d like to think for better), I’m not the same mom today as I once was. This chapter — the one filled with slightly more seasoned moments with two tiny humans at my hip versus one little sidekick — is defined by realizations that come only in hindsight. It’s defined by wanting to get it all right, forgiving myself when I don’t, and yearning to keep on growing. It’s a chapter influenced so deeply by the sacred, imperfect, fleeting pages before it. I’m a different mom the second time around . . . yet I’m still equally proud of each ever-evolving version of myself.